Welcome to Thunderdome

  • Stephina Ross

First it was Jim Harbaugh… then Jeff Fisher… followed by Peyton Manning… then Sun Life Stadium… let’s not forget about Jonathan Martin & Richie Incognito… and most recently it was the search for a new GM. The NFL is Chris Brown, and Stephen Ross is Rihanna. The floppy-eared doofus keeps getting up, just to be knocked-the-fuck down again. For the sake of this post, we’ll ignore his previous black eyes and focus on his new one.

Who’s old enough to remember Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome? That’s essentially what’s going on in Davie, where Stephen Ross has created a “Two men enter, one man leaves” mentality.

Ross’ first battle was Ireland vs Sparano… the second was Ireland vs Philbin… and the latest will be Philbin vs Hickey. And oh by the way, Philbin has a secret weapon… Dawn Aponte (aka Master Blaster).

While some fans are focusing on the hire. the bigger issue is the kill-or-be-killed mentality within the organization. Hickey sits behind the 8-ball in the battle for Ross’ affection, and he knows it. Ross’ raging boner for Philbin was enough to scare away more qualified candidates like Caserio, Farmer, and Licht (to name a few).

To build an NFL roster, you need everyone in the organization on the same page. The GM, scouts and coaches should be looking for players that fit a system… an agreed upon system at that. After 32-games, can you tell me what Joe Philbin’s system is? Is running off team leaders a system?

The number of candidates to decline the job, or even to interview for it, should be enough to alert Ross that something’s amiss. He can not continue down this path. He has created a toxic workplace, from the locker room all the way up to the owner. And if you think this latest black eye is bad, the Ted Wells investigation will be made public next week (or shortly thereafter). So brace yourself for more negative publicity.

Until Stephen Ross breaks this cycle of mixing-and-matching GMs and coaches, the Dolphins will continue to stay mediocre. No longer can he give a coach or GM another year to prove something. Another year for Philbin isn’t going to change the fact he kicks FGs on 3rd down with 0:10 on the clock… or that he botched the Martin/Incognito fiasco. It’s just another wasted year for players like Soliai, Grimes, Pouncey and Tannehill.

Ross just pissed away a golden opportunity to fix the situation NOW. Rather than settle for his 7th option, he could have hit “reset”. All he did was put off the inevitable for a later date. If the Dolphins don’t make the playoffs in 2014, an organizational-wide enema will be needed… and that starts with the asshole… Ross.

Dawn Aponte as Master Blaster.


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